My professional name is Mr. Satanism, and I've been a supervillain since the late 19th century. Remember all those times the world was almost destroyed? That was me. You can only fight superheroes and annoyingly debonair spies for so long before it starts to take a toll on your health though, so I decided to retire and pursue a career that was equally as self-aggrandizing as world conqueror - movie critic. So what makes my reviews better than the ones you can find on the 1,992,694,289 amateur movie review sites out there? Simple - I know what you like (naked girls, violence, explosions), and I tell it like is it. Plus I can spell the word "grisly". Now buy one of my books before I use my latest death ray (patent pending) to turn everyone in your city into pyrite.