<p>
Matthew Waldram is a large flightless human.<br />
<br />
Originally from Derby – where we call a cob a cob, duck – he now lives in Leigh-on-Sea and staunchly refuses to drop his accent, no matter how many people tell him he speaks like his mouth is filled with marbles.<br />
<br />
He believes in monsters, carbs, and scrumping.</p>
